My wife called me regarding her best friend’s marriage situation. Let say Julia as her name. Julia was very angry with her husband once she found his facebook out going message to another girl in intimate conversation. She was furious and threats him for further investigation and discloses his secret to his parents and authority.
This situation in fact has changed her husband into someone stranger to her. A hearted gentle soul now has turned into bestial rude soul. He is now frequently upset with his two years old son. Not in once make sweet talks and intimate discussion with his wife as usual.
Julia herself is only a housewife. She was graduated from high school before she tried to State Academic and failed. The two of them were once class mate in high school. The fortune was on her husband side, he was accepted for diploma study for one year on state academic. Once he was graduated, the state locate his position on a remote district in East Kalimantan.
For some of Sumatranese parents, having their son working in such remote. Make them worried, especially if their bachelor son get click with Dayaknese woman. Then they made them into a marriage just before their son got on state duty. Not long after that they got son and reunion in that remote district. Into their expectation, they have got an opportunity to serve on the capital city in Sumatra.
Fortune has changed to misfortune. One moment they sees life on the track with their expectations. The third person came to her husband ‘s life. So back to my wife’s question, she was asking for some advices from me.
I said to my wife. Who are we being asked for such situation? We ve got only two years of marriage. But personally I would share my subjective male’s view.
As a male, men are tending to attract physically with ‘attractive woman’. This attractiveness can be viewed as physical, eloquent speech, knowledge and emotional. These items move men to approach female, in some context men try to conquer and own this whole attractiveness for him self. These whole situations are dilemmatic for a house wife. Julia was suffered only being treated as baby sitter for their son and house keeper for her husband.
Syakh Hamza Yusuf, he once was asked for similar family consultation. He then asked the couple. When was the last time you had intercourse? He then said, one of family unity is build above conjugal activities. On Julia case, according to her words, her husband used to throw his face from her. Her dilemmatic position is on her child. She doesn’t want to sacrifice her son's childhood if she divorce him.
My immediate response to this, I said to my wife, that she should consult with someone more senior on marriage. The golden and silver couples are people who have been sailed through storm and still weather. They might come out with beautiful solution.
Then, I said the ‘Four Men’s Rule of attractiveness’. One, she should try to forgive and forget no matter how difficult the situation is. This first rule requires her not to seek and investigate further about the truth. Put in mind that her husband is only doing good deeds for the family.
Second, she should try to appeal physically. Dress nicely for night time. Trim all the extra hair and apply perfume to perfect the performance. Think for services and do not expect immediate feed back immediately.
Third, find some way to enrich your knowledge, skills and competency. Everybody has got their own strength naturally. You need to find that and exploit to the fullness. Try to be independence with your husband income but do not be selfish person. You need to stretch you patience ness on this attractive rule.
Fourth, Once you have got the whole what men’s attract for. Do manage your family especially your child health and education whole heartedly. Now then you are the most attractive woman, mother and girlfriend. There is only foolish men who don’t want conquer such woman like that. Beautify your inner and outer. Do not think that you put yourself lower in this situation, but this whole thing what I called the ‘Four Men’s rule of Attractiveness’. And you are one of them.
-Insight Market-ing, Life and Conservation Journal-
Sunday, 20th June 2009/ Uncle Fakhrizal
@:^)
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